Fox, Roy, Yoshi 1: Soda Thieves
by Kal Ancalas
Summary: Fox, Roy, and Yoshi must investigate the theft of CocaCola's secret recipe. Extremely funny. Rated for stupidity.


Fox, Roy, Yoshi, and the Soda Thieves 

Celestial Black Avenger

Author's Note: Well, I think most of you were rather surprised (and a bit pissed) when my Fox, Roy, and Yoshi story was taken off. After a long therapy session, I'm back with one of the ideas I was going to use. This does not involve any other non-Smash characters from my previous story. I do not own SSBM or any other trademarks involved. Oh, BTW, this is a humor story. It is supposed to make you laugh. Don't pay attention if some of the characters have a lower IQ than you think.

The Smashers were in trouble. Big trouble. You see, after a while, the smashers were losing their fighting edge, and as a result less people saw them fight. Meaning less money, this in turn meant that the Smash Mansion would not get a much needed renovation. All the smashers except three were practicing hard.

"Yahoo! You landed on my property! You owe me 1000!" Roy said.

"That was a seven, Roy! Not a six!" Fox retorted.

Yoshi solved the problem by eating the board, pieces, and everything else.

"Well, I guess we can watch TV now." Fox said.

Fox, Roy, Yoshi, and the rest sat down on the huge couch and turned on the large television. They were just settling down to a nice, relaxing movie when the most interesting part was on. Just as the hero was facing life or death…

WE INTERRUPT THIS SHOW TO BRING YOU A BREAKING NEWS REPORT!

A few of the Smashers said a few unrepeatable words, but the announcer's voice interrupted the angry voices.

"We interrupt this violent action movie to bring you a news report. I'm Tom Wood, and that's my colleague, Pom Wood. The secret formula of the biggest soda company in the world, Coca-Cola, has just been stolen!"

Everyone yawned.

"We have been informed that an unidentified person drilled through the secret vault and stole the coveted information. Police are mystified to the identity of the caper. We have no evidence except for a driver's license, a wallet with shop receipts, an address book, and some travel passports." (Note that all of the evidence is being shown on camera)

Everyone yawned.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we may be dealing with a genius."

Everyone yawned.

"The Coca-Cola Company is offering a reward of 25 million to the people who identify and catch the thief."

Everyone yawned except for Fox, Roy, and Yoshi.

"25 million? We could buy an entire new mansion with that stuff!" Fox exclaimed.

"And we wouldn't have to worry about food bills!" Yoshi added.

"Well, you and Kirby eat all the food anyway," someone retorted.

"Who cares? We're gonna catch them!" Roy announced.

The threesome marched out of the room to pack their stuff.

"Did you put _that _much of Dr. Mario's secret chemical inside their coffee?" Young Link whispered to Ness.

Fox, Roy, and Yoshi went off to Fox's room to pack. Fox stuck two laser guns in his belt and a Swiss army knife. Yoshi got a bag and packed a few bunches of berries in it.

"What are those?"

" They're really good berries from Yoshi's Island!"

"Let me have some!" Fox yelled.

Fox stuffed six berries into his mouth, chewed them for about one second, and then spit them out into Roy's face.

"THIS IS BITTER!"

"Whoops, wrong berries." Yoshi nonchalantly muttered.

Roy, of course, was so surprised about the bitter fruit being spit into his face, he swung his sword in a huge arc. A blast of fire went out of it and struck the ceiling, scorching the plaster and burning much of the walls a flaky black.

"Whoops, wrong berries!" Yoshi yelled.

After managing to pack, Fox, Roy, and Yoshi went outside.

"On that news report, I saw on the passport that the thief was hiding in Russia," Roy said. "We'll take a plane and fly there!"

"There are just five things wrong with that, Roy." Fox said. "One, we need passports. Two, we need tickets. Three, Yoshi ate his passport. Four, I kind of lost my passport when I was arrested for speeding on Corneria. Five, your passport expired, oh, two hundred years ago."

So they traveled to the local post office, where they applied for new passports.

"Well, you have to fill out these ten page forms, and you have to get your picture taken."

After about twenty pictures (they couldn't resist the urge to make faces) they spent an hour bent over the counter filling out the forms.

"Here are your passports."

"Now we need to get tickets." Fox said.

The threesome traveled to a travel agency, where they applied for tickets to Russia.

The service person said, "No problem, it's just 139.99 a ticket."

Fox, Roy, and Yoshi looked at each other. They looked at the service person. They looked at each other again.

"Problem."

An hour later…

"How did you manage to come up with the 419.97 we needed?" Roy asked Fox.

"I just sold a few things on EBay." Fox said. "Can we go really fast?"

Meanwhile…

"Hey! Where's that ultra-rare ticket to the next rock concert I was saving!" Falco yelled.

The flight took a very long time. They were served meals on board, but Roy unearthed a large twig in his casserole and Fox found a large rock in his. Yoshi ate all three meals (rock and twig included.) They saw a movie, but it was in Russian and for some strange reason, had subtitles written in Egyptian hieroglyphics, which Fox and Roy misconstrued.

"Why is he saying he's going to eat a lion in the river next century?" Fox asked the stewardess.

Needless to say, they were ushered off the flight as soon as it landed.

The airport adventure wasn't any better.

"You! Get out of the baggage sorting machine!" a guard yelled at them.

They searched all over Russia for the thieves, but it took a week and they couldn't find any soda thieves. After a rather long search of some mountain caves, they were tuckered out.

"Why don't we sleep under this sign that says "_Soda thieves' top secret hideout this way"_, Roy suggested.

Fox and Yoshi looked at him.

As they entered the cave, they could smell the unmistakable scent of…

"Sorry, that was me." Yoshi said as Fox and Roy held their noses and winced.

"No, not that." Fox muttered. "I smell a incredibly strong cola smell, along with that nose-numbing gas they put in those bottles to make them all fizzy."

They dashed behind a control panel, and this is what they saw.

A huge cavern had been hollowed out in the mountain. An assembly line had lots of bottles, with Coca-Cola being poured into them. Then, the bottles had the gas put into them. But what they noticed was the bottles had a third ingredient being put into them before they were put into crates and loaded into a store room. And in the center of this evil operation, were…Barney, Dora the Explorer, and Bob the Builder. (no offense to anybody who actually likes those shows)

"OH MY GOD!" Fox screamed. "THEY STOLE COCA-COLA!"

"YOU IDIOT!" Roy yelled back. "BE QUIET OR THEY'LL HEAR US!"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP SCREAMING!" Yoshi screamed.

Everyone stared at them.

A minute later, they had been hoarded into the storage room. Barney, Dora, and Bob, were towering above them.

"You meddling fools," Barney said. "You'll never find out our evil plan!"

"You mean the one where we put a special chemical in all the Coca-Cola?" Dora said.

"YES! That's the plan in which everyone will be hypnotized and bow down to us!" Barney said. "So don't tell!"

Fox, Roy, and Yoshi glanced at each other.

"Sorry to blow your parade, but I've got a secret weapon." Fox said. He whipped out his two blasters and stunned Dora and Bob. Then he took out his Swiss army knife, pulled a grenade out of it, and threw it at Barney and all the infected soda.

"Let's get out of here." Fox said, and they ran out of the storage room with Yoshi holding the secret recipe.

KABOOM!

"Well, this turned out to be good." Roy said from his private mansion. "We destroyed the evil, saved the world, and got money."

"Yep." Fox said from his own island.

"It's great up here!" Yoshi telephoned from his very own space station. "You should come up here and see the view!"

THE END


End file.
